


skinfrost

by milkytart



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Complicated Relationships, Embarrassed Killua Zoldyck, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Lowercase, Not Beta Read, OOC, One F bomb, Other, Out of Character, Pining, Post-Anime, Reader-Insert, Romance, Slight spoilers, just one, killua is a wreck, no the title is not named after the highlighter, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 22:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8551027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkytart/pseuds/milkytart
Summary: killua is: cheeks dusted with strawberries and fingers ice cold.





	

**Author's Note:**

> companion piece to my rlly big fic in the works, harbringer  
> wanted to practice a prettier sort of writing but i failed, haha  
> a lot of this is written with an established backstory in mind but like thts part of my other fic? yeah

it is winter in eastern padokea and there is a war in killua's brain. his breath comes out in puffs of white air. he knows that its cold, but his childhood hardened him so that he could not feel it. the trees no longer have that pink color that you cherished. instead, they are bare.

killua doesn’t care, and focuses on the crunch of snow under his feet. the streets are near desolate, all shops closed that sunday morning, and killua is grateful. he has enough on his plate.

he doesn’t need a swarm of people to distract him.

there are still… killua glances at a clock. there are still two hours before it is time, two hours until he has a million chances to embarrass himself. years of traveling with sweet, sensitive alluka has made him softer, and he feels that in full force in this moment. but, he is just meeting with a friend.

a friend, one he has kissed. he… kissed... yes. killua burns up.

it has been a while since killua didn’t know what to think about his circumstances, but he wants to think that maybe, maybe, maybe, friend wasn’t the right label for you. maybe. it’s a selfish wish, he knows that much, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking about shared cocoa in winter, picnics in spring, tiny kisses and shared hugs with you. it’s too much. killua has to stop to take a breather on the side of the road.

killua’s got this, he killed a lot of stuff next to you, fought in battles and wars next to you, went shopping with you, cooked next to you, _slept_ next to you. he forcefully wipes the last few thoughts from his mind—killua’s got this. he spent so many years keeping his emotions and thoughts under control and he’s not gonna stop now. stupid, _stupid,_ he is calm killua, and he knows his place.

but! he allows himself to dream, using a bulk of his effort in keeping his cheeks from reddening further.

dreaming takes a lot of time and time flies when he thinks of you, so before long, he finds himself at the meeting spot with ten minutes to spare.

killua gulps, rechecking the address a couple more times than needed, and exhales. he is shaky, he is killua and he shouldn’t be shaky, he has a cute friend to impress and clammy hands aren’t nice to hold. _not_ that he was thinking of holding hands, of course. he was just thinking that it might have been nice. really nice. he coughs into his hand, scrunching his face to cast away the pink.

he walks into the meeting spot, which is a cute confectionery and the only store open today, and sits down. the woman behind the counter gives him a polite smile and bow in greeting as she brings out some pastries to put in the display racks before disappearing to the kitchens. killua is grateful and conflicted. there aren’t second thoughts, but his mind runs a mile a minute as he thinks of everything you could say and everything he should say back. a lesser being at war with their mind wouldn’t have paid attention to their surroundings, but killua was, and he heard your familiar footsteps walk in.

he stiffens, not visibly, and waits coolly for you to take your seat across from him. which you do.

killua’s heart stops, and he bites his lip, staring at your face for what might have been an uncomfortably long period of silence. you offer a wave and a bashful smile. you didn’t mind, or course you didn’t, you were you and you were, for whatever reason, used to this. he flushes—he’s stared at you a lot during the years he’s known you. but this time, it was different, because he hasn’t seen you in, god, what must’ve been two years, and two years is a lot of time for one to use to change. killua stares at you a little longer, and thinks, _fuck, you’ve changed a lot_. you’re taller, not by much, and still a lot shorter than his lanky self.

your hair is different, he doesn’t know why, and he sees a a faint hint of color of your lips. he’s _kissed_ those before. he flushes. a bit of him visibly perks up when he sees that you're still wearing the scarf he gave you years ago.

but killua doesn’t know what you’re thinking because you, too, have been all shades of silent and staring, waiting for him to talk first with bated breath. because that’s what he’s _always_ done, that’s how you two worked. but he doesn’t know what to say and wants to spend an eternity staring with flushed cheeks and a bit lip.

if there is another thing to change, it would be the initiator, and working with people who don’t communicate with eyes and small gestures has made you more open to talking.

“Are you going to take a picture? It lasts longer,” you say, just barely above a whisper, paired with a quiet, breathy laugh.

killua is close to sweating. you haven’t talked like this to him, and he likes it, if it means listening to your voice. even if your joke is at his expense.

“I- I um,” he wants to say something cool back, but he blanks out, going on his odd sort of autopilot. “I can’t afford a camera.”

following immediately after your silence, killua thinks, _I want to **die.**_

but then you laugh that beautiful laugh of yours again and he thinks it’s worth it, even with a wounded pride. your elbows sit at the table, head resting atop your hands, which is a motion so familiar to him that he smiles. you smile back, and you’re so absolutely dazzling in that moment that he wishes he did have a camera so the moment could last forever.

he sighs, slumping over in his chair, “I missed you.” he’s embarrassed to admit it, but it’s true in every meaning of the word.

you place your hands, warm, soft, and riddled with scars long faded over his cold and pale ones, “I missed you, too, Killua.”

and, in that moment, you think the smile he gives you is the most beautiful thing in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> if ur wondering, allukas chilling w/ like........ gon or leorio or kurapika or somethin. nontheless, allukas safe.


End file.
